Yesterday I decided for myself that enough was enough. I can't continue to wait for this miscarriage to happen naturally because it's only damaging my emotions further. I decided to speak to my doctor last night who approved me this morning for one last ultrasound.....which I went to this afternoon and the result was no different then a week ago. I needed that last ultrasound to confirm for me emotionally that it's okay to give up on this pregnancy and to take the misoprostol pills. I cried as all my nurses hugged me and gave me encouragement to not give up and left the doctor office to grab my 5 prescriptions (antibiotics, pain killers, misoprostol, etc) and made my way back to work for the remainder of the day. So to give a little education on what misoprostol is, it's basically a drug used to start labor or induce abortion.....not something I physically could give myself without that second and last ultrasound. It will begin to take effect within 2-4 hours of taking with minor cramping, which will lead to heavy cramping and bleeding within 4-6 hours (basically going into labor to pass all tissues inside of you including the fetus) to having a full bore miscarriage. Pain will last for sometime depending on your case. I will then have to repeat the process and take it again in 2 days to ensure that all tissue has passed so as infection doesn't occur. This is a pretty scary thing for me, but far less scary then surgery. This will happen in the privacy of my own home hopefully without any complications (which unfortunately can occur). Emotionally so far I'd like to think that I'm doing okay. I think that having a second ultrasound really helped me accept that there's no longer a viable pregnancy and it's time to throw in the towel. I guess the first step to healing is acceptance, so I'm headed in the right direction right? Baby steps. However, I can say the last week hasn't been easy....I've had multiple friends post photos on social media of their own progress within their happy healthy pregnancies, and even 3 (YES THREE) "I'm pregnant" announcements. Those were all tough to swallow, but I need to put myself in their shoes.....they're happy and proud and want to shout it from the rooftops as I would want to if I were them.
I'm so thankful for those who have reached out with words of love and support via texts, emails, posts, etc have all been so heart warming. For those who sent flowers and even a dozen gourmet cupcakes.....not sure how I'll eat them ALL LOL, but those gestures of kindness we're very thankful for. We have the best family and friends in the world, and in times like this it really shines through to us. We can only try to hold our heads up and think positive after this all passes. Thank you everyone from the bottom of our hearts.
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Me In A Nutshell
My name is Kristina and I'm 37. Originally I'm a Southern CA girl, and I'm now living in the "burbs" of Chicago. I love my son, my husband, my family, my fur babies, and my wonderful friends. I love wine, love to relax, love to have a good time, I'm a little adventurous, love to people watch, and I'm always down for a last minute road trip to virtually anywhere. I'm obsessed with the smell of racing fuel...weird I know - and fresh cut grass! I love to be home, but hate to sit at the house. If I'm excited I get pretty random - sometimes I talk about multiple subjects at once - I'll admit it's probably hard to keep up. My husband and I battled infertility for 5 years before having a successful pregnancy - our son Colton Charles was born September 30th, 2016, Although we have had success with the birth of Colton, our battle still continues with infertility. I've learned it's a wonderful & beautiful thing to share with others the journey that we've walked in the world of infertility. Welcome to our story.