Worst day ever..... 8-13-15
I wish I had good news to share from our ultrasound last Thursday the 13th, but unfortunately I do not. It was confirmed that the baby stopped growing and that there was no heartbeat. Our happiness was crushed in one simple instant that we thought was going to bring us so much joy. We were given three options, surgery (D&C), pills to help bring on miscarriage, or just wait naturally for the miscarriage to happen - we chose naturally. It's been 4 days and nothing yet has happened, so we may be forced to chose another option. At times I feel like I'm a really strong person, but then again there are a lot of moments where the emotions completely overtake me and my eyes feel up with tears and I can't help but feel weak and sorry for myself - I feel so broken. We have to wait 2-3 healthy cycles before we can start to try again, and I'm not sure what our plan will be when that moment comes......but I do know that we're not ready to give up on our dream. I'm not really sure what more I can write about right now, I just hope and pray that one day the pain of all of this will be replaced with a tiny bundle of joy. Until then the constant roller coaster of infertility plagues us.
8/17/2015 07:56:24 am
Ohhhh baby girl. I have read and I feel your posts. And it feels like a lonely journey and no one could possibly understand how you feel or understand what your going through. The blame the what if's the struggle is absolutely real. You are mentally checked out of everything cause your heart is fixated on one thing.
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Me In A Nutshell
My name is Kristina and I'm 37. Originally I'm a Southern CA girl, and I'm now living in the "burbs" of Chicago. I love my son, my husband, my family, my fur babies, and my wonderful friends. I love wine, love to relax, love to have a good time, I'm a little adventurous, love to people watch, and I'm always down for a last minute road trip to virtually anywhere. I'm obsessed with the smell of racing fuel...weird I know - and fresh cut grass! I love to be home, but hate to sit at the house. If I'm excited I get pretty random - sometimes I talk about multiple subjects at once - I'll admit it's probably hard to keep up. My husband and I battled infertility for 5 years before having a successful pregnancy - our son Colton Charles was born September 30th, 2016, Although we have had success with the birth of Colton, our battle still continues with infertility. I've learned it's a wonderful & beautiful thing to share with others the journey that we've walked in the world of infertility. Welcome to our story.